My argument is that the term “bigender” should embrace those who behave in ways sterotypically associated with one or the other of the two polar genders. Now I’ll ask myself some questions (your turn later…)
Q: So, are cross-dressers bigendered?
A: Not necessarily. If a man dresses up to pass as a woman, and enjoys behaving as if he’s a woman, but then comes home after a day “out”, kicks back in a t-shirt and jeans and watches NFL football with a beer in hand, I’d say “yes.” If male cross dresses as a woman, and doe so everywhere he can (except maybe at work, church and family gatherings), and wishes he could really be a woman all the time, the the answer is “no.” That guy is transgendered. (The same is true, of course, for a woman who crossdresses to pass as a man. I’ll try to alternate my illustrations in this blog.)
Q: Are dykes, lesbian, gays, fairies, bears, etc. bigendered?
A: Probably not. They could be, but those terms I think apply to the third and fourth genders. There are “lipstick” lesbians who are perfectly femme, love other women, and have no interest in things masculine: not bigendered. Some lesbian woman call themselves “boi”, dress and carry themselves in a masculine way, and have no interest pretending they’re anything other than what they are: not bigendered. Do I need to repeat the rest of the illustrations. Being of the third and fourth genders does not obligate one to be bigendered.
Q: So gays, twinkies, bears, bois, and femmy lesbians can’t be bigendered?
A: I’m not saying that. I’m saying that those who’ve adopted those labels often belong to a culture that embraces and supports them in being what they call themselves. If anyone feels that they have and manifest the traits of both sexes, regardless of the sex of the person they exchange fluids with, they could be bigendered.